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Missing BlogHer… Tear

So… I had to sell my BlogHer ticket (due to a new grad school class I am starting on Saturday) so I am a bit bummed. I had a blast last year, and a few of my online peeps are either speaking or attending. It is sad to miss them, but I know I need to take this math class and it is more important (right now) than doing blogging stuff.

Obviously my life has been CRAZY and blogging has been taking a backseat. But I hope to get back into as I am working on my stress-level and my health (which have ALSO been taking a backseat– see a pattern?!?)

Goals for the next 3 weeks:

  1. Create HEALTHY (read: not full of sugar or fat) meals that I can eat in 20 minutes while taking care of my kindergartners during lunch. Nothing that needs to be heated or that takes 10 minutes to put together.
  2. 30 minutes of exercise. EVERY DAY. No excuses.
  3. Yoga, in addition to the 30 minutes, 3 days a week.
  4. Guided meditation before bed, on the nights I need it.
  5. 1-3 days a week, blog/tweet about my experiences at school, and how I am doing with my eating/health goals.
  6. Take my multi vitamin and ginko every day.
  7. Get back into shape for Fitbloggin ’11

I have created health and eating goals a hundred times on this blog. I have failed a hundred times. But after my grandpa died om July 20th, I realized I don’t want to live with the same health problems he had- Diabetes, congestive heart failure, COPD, knee problems….etc.

I am 32 years old. I should not be this heavy and I should not be this tired all the time.

A 30 second update

An update in 30 seconds:

My grandpa died one week ago today. I got a call at 2:45pm that he passed. I bawled.

I am devastated. The man who was pretty much my father for 32 years – gone.

I am still in the denial phase of grieving – not sure how long I will stay here.  Not alot of time to grieve because…

I am overwhelmed at school. 19 credit hours in 8 weeks is TOUGH.

I have finished 3 classes and started 2 more. I have 2 more 8-10 page papers due before Aug 20th (one is due next week. Have I even started looking for research? Nope)

I am worn out.

I am eating poorly (though I am trying very hard to eat better. Really, I am.)

I am not sleeping well at night.

Button-kitty is yowling all night long because he misses me.

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and kindness my friends have shown at the loss of my grandpa.

I am still weepy at the thought of my grandpa’s death.

I am numb.

But I am surviving.

I made lasagna for dinner tonight.

I am thriving at school. I am enjoying each day.

THE CUBBIES ARE WINNING (thanks grandpa)

What is this? A freak out? Awwwww, Freak Out!

The weeks are flying past so quickly- I have already been in school almost a month — it really feels like school started yesterday. My first big research paper (in over 10 years) is due next Monday and I am kinda freaking out. I haven’t written a scholastic paper in a long long long long long long time.

Yeah, that long.

I have my topic chosen, my research done, my verbal outline in a .wav file on my phone.

Now comes the rough draft part.

I hate rough drafts.

But weren’t you an editor of a magazine, you ask. Shouldn’t you LOVE to write??

Yes, I was the editor or a magazine (but, funny story, I hate to edit my own things. Case in point: This blog…) Yes I do love to write, but I have a very casual not-at-all scholarly style of writing– and the teacher who will be grading this is a pain in my you-now-what.

Anyway, I will post later with an update on how I do on the paper (which counts for 40 percent of my grade. OUCH)

In sad news, I got Mr More back from the vet on Friday. I had him cremated. It is so nice to have him back home with me.

In kinda-sad news, I found out a few weeks ago that a mandatory math class for grad school will fall on the same weekend as BlogHer in NYC. I am sad, but as I keep saying, grad school comes first. I am in the process of selling my ticket and giving up my hotel room. I guess that means I will have more money for Fitbloggin ’11, right? Right?!?!

I made a pot roast in the crock pot tonight — I filled the crock with veggies!! YUMMO!So excited to have halfway decent lunched for the week!

Hope you have a productive and healthy week!

First Week of Grad School…I made it!

Holy all things that sing, my first week is DONE!

Because I love lists so much (and because my to-do list is 100 pages long right now), here is my first week in bullets:

  • I woke at 5:30 am on Monday to make it to school at 7:30. I live 30 minutes (walking) from school. I got there at 7. I adjusted my time for Tuesday. ;-)
  • Monday and Tuesday were filled with paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. I don’t think I have written my name and SSN so often in my life.
  • Out of the 1000 people that applied for my “specialized program, only 86 made it in.
  • By Wednesday, someone had already dropped out.
  • Yeah, it’s a little intense.
  • OK, so it’s ALOT intense.
  • By Tuesday night, I had about 4 hours of homework that was due on Wednesday. Ouch.
  • Did I mention that I booked myself every night last week. Until 11pm each night?
  • Yeah, I am not so smart.
  • The power went out on Tuesday about 10am at my house.
  • The power returned at about 3pm on Wednesday.
  • A whole freezer and fridge full of food- gone. Cuz I have time to grocery shop right now….
  • Class goes from 8am-4:30pm , Monday -Thursday. Friday’s we go from 8-3pm.
  • I got fingerprinted on Thursday! It was fun, though that was the night we got BLASTED by a horrible severe storm in Chicago– windows were knocked out of the Sears Willis Tower. 80 mph winds will do that.
  • It’s nice to know I am not a criminal. :-)
  • My laptop weighs 500lbs. It also had a hard time starting up and the battery is fried.
  • Next stop: Apple for a new Mac Book Pro. Wait– make that next stop WHEN MY STUDENT LOAN COMES IN…
  • Did I mention I am BROKE? Buying books is expensive!
  • Fun Fact: Did you know anyone with a B.A. can substitute teach in the state of IL? (maybe other places too)
  • The above statement answers SO many questions from high school days when subs were in charge….
  • I have to learn APA syle of writing/sourcing. SO GLAD I spent all those years learning MLA and AP styles….
  • I have two 10 page papers due in a month. Yes 2, yes 10, and yes in a month. Not including other readings and homework. I am kinda freaking out. 4 weeks go by really quickly…
  • I have been away from academia for just under 10 years. And it shows. My brain is a puddle right now.
  • I only have one day off in the next 2 months- 4th of July.
  • I start student teaching in 2 months.
  • I don’t think I will be able to go to BlogHer– I have a class that starts the same day. I *might* be selling my ticket. Stay Tuned…
  • My poor cats are so neglected. More on poor Mr More soon. Very soon. (It’s sad.)
  • This is something special: I did not watch TV for one week SOLID– seriously folks– never turned it on. I was so busy I didn’t have a chance. I finally turned it on yesterday to watch the weather, and I had it on today to watch Drop Dead Diva (LOVE IT!) and catch up on Dance your Ass Off and SYTYCD. I have a feeling it is gonna stay off this week too…
  • I actually ate very healthy this week Since my fridge was out for 29 hours and I lost all my food, I ate at the Subway next door to school for breakfast, lunch and (sometimes) dinner everyday. I ate 6 inch subs with lots of veggies, and stayed away from the cheese. I did eat Burger King (a cheeseburger, no fries) on Thursday, but I was in a rush to get to a babysitting gig and had no other options.
  • I finally ran errands yesterday and today, and got healthy food to eat for the week. I made a PB and J, carrot sticks, yogurt (for b-fast) and some Kettle Baked chips (so good- run out and try them if you can find them!!)
  • My New Balance shoes (that i signed up for at Fitbloggin) have not arrived yet:-( Others have received theirs, so I hope to see mine soon.
  • I did become a bloggie member of the Omron walking crew and will have some cool things to offer you soon from Omron — I am a HUGE fan of their pedometers and I got a new one to try out and share with you. My thoughts coming soon…

Ok, my list is done. I have to get to bed.

As a quick housekeeping note, I will only be updating my blog 2 times a week until I can get this grad school thing under control. So look for longer-ish posts from me on Saturday (or Sunday) and a short “Wordless Wednesday” post on (you guessed it!) Wednesdays. I will continue to sporadically tweet if I have time.

Anticipation

Tomorrow is my first day of Grad School.

Allow me to share the thoughts and feelings I have right now, at 8pm Sunday:

  • Butterflied stomach.
  • Nervous.
  • Amped.
  • Scared to death.
  • Excited.
  • Freaked out.
  • Cleaning like a mad woman.
  • Packing and re-packing my new backpack.
  • Freaking that my suit is wrinkly.
  • AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!! School starts tomorrow!!!!!
  • “I am sooo ready for a challenge.”
  • “What am I gonna do– no 4pm nap tomorrow!”
  • I HAVE to get a good night sleep.
  • “Why did I get polish on my nails 2 weeks ago? It looks like crap now!”
  • “Where is the nail polish remover?”
  • OMG grad school is expensive.
  • “Why did I allow friends to come visit from out of town this week?”

Where I’ve Been: Now with more Big News!

Since Fitbloggin, I have been MIA when it comes to all things social media.

It wasn’t the conference– I had a BLAST.

My break had alot to do with my personal life and now that alot of the issues are resolved, I am finally ready to come back.

Lots of stuff has been happening…. Here is a little bit of this and that….

First, some news on the fitness front– I am signed up for my FIRST 1/2 MARATHON!!!! A 1/2 marathon is on my bucket list, and when my friend Loren told me about the training program that helps support the AIDS Foundation of Chicago along with giving me world-class training, I was IN! I don’t want my first real post back to be a pitch for money, but if you would like to support me on my journey to 13.1 miles, please click here for more information and a secure donation area. So far my training has been good: This is in part what I wrote as an update to my friends and family this morning:

Yesterday, I did my timing/pacing group 3 mile walk for the AIDS Foundation 1/2 Marathon. I “slogged” my way through it– “slogged” is a word I stole from amerrylife that means “slow jogging” — and did OK– 16:30 minute miles. Not the best time I have done in a race, but good enough. Because there is a time limit for the Marathon, I was put in the 14:00 minute mile group with my friend Loren. Atleast I will have a friend to help me on my journey to 13.1 miles! :-) I am still a bit sore today, but know the more I train the faster my recovery will be.

If you have trained for a 1/2 marathon and have any tips or tricks, please let me know. I can use all the support i can get! :-)

Second big news- and I am kinda burying the lead here-

I AM FINALLY GAINFULLY EMPLOYED!!!!

Cue the confetti and get out the party hats!

A big reason I have been gone from the blog is hat I have spent many a sleepless night worrying about not having a job. The past 6 months have been rough. Ok, the past 3 months have been rough. I actually enjoyed having “time” to do things I wanted to do and not have to worry about meetings, deadlines and waking up at 6 am. Without being laid off, I would never have been able to be an assistant coach for Girls on the Run. Or babysit for a great mom’s group. Or take 4pm naps!

But after a few months it got old sending out resumes and never getting a call back.

In early March, I heard about a program here in Chicago that allows people who already have a B.A. to train to become an urban teacher through “residency-style” program. The competition is stiff- out of 1000 people who apply, only around 100 people are asked to join the program. I was late in hearing about the program (they start taking applications in September and close applications April 1) but decided that I would apply and see what happened.

After a crazy application process, rigorous testing (and by rigorous I mean two 5 hour entrance tests in one day–ack!), 2 strenuous interviews and countless nights spent worrying I wouldn’t get in, I found out Friday at Noon that I have been accepted!!

I am humbled, honored and am still pinching myself.

I will begin graduate classes toward a Masters in Elementary Education in downtown Chicago on June 14th. I won’t know for a while which grade I will teach, though I applied to be a K-3rd grade teacher. My hope is for 1st grade.

Here is an issue– I may not be able to go to BlogHer now. I will be in class on Friday that weekend and I am not sure if I can miss any days of class. I will find out June 14, but if I do miss BlogHer this year, I know that I will be missing it for a good cause. :-)

—-

3rd big news:

During the time I was going through my first and second interviews for the graduate program, I was bitten by a (spider? some sort of bug? not sure) on my left shoulder. Overnight it went from a bite to the circumference of a baseball- sized infection. It was hot to the touch, blood red and I was only able partially lift my arm.

Of course.

I went to urgent care, where they put me on a SUPER strong antibiotic and Rx strength Motrin for the swelling. I was tired, not sleeping more than 2 hours a night and feeling crappy for days after starting the meds, though my infection seemed to be healing nicely. Then I had my final interview for grad school last Tuesday — that’s when I started having numbness in my left arm and pains in my chest on the left side of my body.

I figured I was having a panic attack/stressed out from what I thought was a horrible job I did at the interview, and tried to just shrug the pain and discomfort off.

but when I woke up Wednesday morning, I was still having the same feelings. I called urgent care back, and they told me to go to the ER.

So I went.

I will spare you the details, but in short, the infection that was in my shoulder was deeper than they thought, and it was pressing on a nerve in my arm causing it to go numb. I was also having a nasty reaction to the antibiotic, which caused my blood pressure to soar to 188/66. They got me up to the observation deck, got me fluids and some kind of meds, and got an X-ray of my shoulder, just in case. I came home with a muscle relaxer and a blood pressure of 118/47. MUCH BETTER.

My arm is still a bit numb, but I am feeling much better. The meds that made me so sick are done now, and the infection seems to be gone. Thank goodness.

I have to say, the nurses and doctors at the Northwestern ER were great, but I hope to never see them again.

It has been a crazy mixed up life the past few months, but I am glad I was along for the ride.

I am not sure how my blog will change now that I am going to be training for and then teaching. I of course will continue to blog about my 1/2 marathon training, and I have short and long term goals to continue on my weight loss journey. I just have to be a bit censored now that some know my real name (though some still don’t) and I don’t want to be penalized for what I say on this blog.