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Why I Am Still Unhealthy*
*Notice I didn’t use the F-A-T word. I am trying to change the messages I give to myself.
- I stopped tracking points
- I put everything in my mouth
- I eat too fast
- I eat more than I should at a meal
- I got stressed out
- I stopped grocery shopping
- I made poor (and outright DUMB) choices at fast food restaurants
- I didn’t use the stairs
- I didn’t park at the farthest parking spot
- I didn’t ask for dressing on the side
- I used the excuses: I am too tired, I will do it tomorrow/later/during the commercial, my (leg, arm, back) hurts and more
- I worked too much
- I played too much
- I didn’t go to Weight Watchers meetings
- I ate fried things
- I didn’t eat fruit and veggies
- And MANY more…
I continue to self-sabotage and use poor-self talk.
I realize how unhealthy I am and that I need to change. I see so many online and IRL friends who have made healthy choices – not only for themselves but for their families. I KNOW I feel better when I make those choices and I am declaring that June 26, 2011 is the day I will begin to make better choices to keep me alive for 60 more years.
Well, it has been a tough week.
I have stayed on plan eating and exercise wise (2 hours of walking a day baby!) even though the darn TV has been tempting me with Wendy’s spicy nuggets and cold Diet Coke.
I even went to a pizza party last night. AND stayed on plan.
I emailed AM (the trainer) and asked what I could eat since I did not want to be the odd duck in the corner eating my 6oz skinless boneless chicken breast and 1/2 cup of broccoli and pining for a crust of pizza. I was WILLING to eat what was on the list for Wednesday dinner, but knew two things about myself:
1. If I deprive myself now, I will WANT MORE LATER. MUCH MORE.
2. If I don’t learn how to eat in social situations, I will become a hermit with 27 cats and never leave the house again. No one wants this. 
AM said to stay on plan, I should eat the thinnest crust possible, and eat 3 times the salad as I do pizza.
So I did exactly that. We had Lou Malnotti’s Pizza, and I chose the super thin crust cheese version (3 small squares of a medium pizza, no “end” pieces), a large salad with carrots, red cabbage, cucumber, red peppers and about 2 tables spoons of low fat honey Dijon dressing, and for dessert (though there were fruit tarts, homemade cookies and ice cream treats) had about a cup of cut up fruit. NO SODA. WATER.I also had a Chobani Yogurt for a snack later.
And I was satisfied.
We watched “Away We Go” with John Krasinski and then turned over to the State of the Union. It was wonderful to watch the SOTU with such amazing and intelligent women. I got SO much more out of it than I normally do. I also utilized the iPhone to look up “Pay As You Go” and other new (to me) concepts. I love to learn!!
Weigh-in is Saturday, and I actually have to go in a bit early as I have a baby shower in Glencoe at my normal weigh-in time. My goal this week is 4lbs. I know that is a bit low, but I have to remember that the first week of any weight-loss/healthy eating venture is usually the most weight in a week people lose. I am trying to reign in my expectations– that way, if I lose 5lbs, I will be pleasantly surprised.
I can’t remember if I wrote my goal for this month down here yet. My goal is 20lbs in 30 days. I have 12lbs to go with just 2 weeks left. I hope I can make it, but if I don’t I know any amount of weight I have lost will be a win in my book!
Off to eat lunch!
…AND LOST 8 POUNDS!!!
IN SEVEN DAYS!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP!!!!!
I was so freaked out the past 2 days as I was SURE I was only going to lose like 2lbs (or GASP stay the same or GAIN) after staying exactly on plan. I promise you don’t want to see my texts or hear the crazy conversations I have had with friends the past 2 days. Really.
Thank you to my online and IRL friends for all your/their support of this sometimes-neurotic “loser”!
Most of the people at the weigh-in said that they weigh themselves everyday so they knew what the damage would be. I had resigned from the beginning to NOT weigh-in daily– I fluctuate so much, I would disappoint myself and end up eating a pound of french fries for going up 0.8 lbs.
My 8lb loss proves that I have been on plan, walking 2 hours each day (other than last Saturday) and staying upbeat and positive.
My 8lb loss proves that ANYONE can eat properly and lose weight.
My 8lb loss proves that I CAN DO THIS for 3 more weeks.
Tonight I had grilled chicken breast, wilted spinach with garlic and about a 1/4 of red pepper* for dinner. It was filling and fantastic- and did I mention, fully homemade? My snack after working out (2 hours walking, thank you very much) was a medium banana and a small handful of walnuts. We are supposed to have our “snacks” in the morning, but if I don’t hold my banana until night (when I do my bulk of working out) I am STARVING by 10:30pm. I am doing what works for me but still keeping the calories at 1200.
Onward and upward (which for tonight means going to B-E-D!)
*Red pepper was not part of the plan, but I added it as the pepper was going to go bad, and, actually, as a treat for losing 8lbs. Who knew that red pepper would be used by me as a treat??
I forgot to post on Saturday but 9am class was great- not too early, not to late. I got my (hard!) workout in, and I was done. I spent the rest of the day getting some things done around the house, watching movies, napping, and relaxing. I love those days.
Sunday was an off day (SCORE!) As much as I love it, my calves and thighs I needed a break.
Today we started up again. Before class, I ran to the ATT store becuase my cell crapped out (at like 10 am this morning) and since I don’t have a landline anymore, I needed a phone…. and a phone I got!
THE iPHONE!
I am so in love with my new phone, and I haven’t even had time to play with it!
I also went out to “happy hour” with a few friends from my old job right before class — and just drank water — we all know what happens when I eat too close to class time lol!
Melissa (the first bootcamp I did- she was the trainer) was our teacher tonight. She was HARD and kicked out butts!
But you know what?
I was stronger tonight – I could tell. I did a little informal “fitness assessment” as today is technically 1 day past the midway point…
- The warmup was easier than it has been in a while. I felt like it was actually a warm-up and not a workout in itself.
- I drank about 2 16oz glasses of water about an hour before class today — I am not sure if the water helped me get more reps in or if it was the fact that I have been working out consistently, but I felt good and got more reps in than ever before on each station.
- When I started 7 classes ago, I could barely hold myself up on core hold for more than 5 seconds at a time. I can make it 10-15 seconds at a time now. My goal is the whole minute she asks up to hold it.
- Squats are my most hated exercise, and at the beginning the teacher was always saying “GET LOW!” (I was almost always standing close to straight up and down and just pulsing) as she walked past me– today she said “GOOD JOB!”. Can’t believe it.
- Lunges are my second most hated exercise. I don’t think I do them correctly. At the beginning of class, she told us to “almost touch the floor” with the bent leg. I was always VERY close to standing position. Today I was able to do about 3 inches from the floor on my left leg (front and back lunges) and about 7 to 8 inches off the floor with my right.
- I was able to do “stinky baby” (hold 2 dumbbells straight out in front of you – and alternate legs on a high step– the dumbbells are a stinky baby that you don’t want to drop and don’t want to hold close) without dropping the dumbbells to my sides at all today.
- I am “good” sore, not “I can’t walk” sore today.
All in all, I am getting there. And I am proud of the progress I have made so far.
PS: Still trying very hard to eat the #WWGE way. I have shrunk my stomach, so when I do want to eat a big meal, I get sick to my stomach as I start shoveling it in. Small portions is the way to go! GO GRANDMA!
New insturctor, new kick @ssedness.
Each day we will have a new instructor– yesterday was a former Chicago Heavyweight boxing champion — today was a tiny woman who was a Drill Sargent– and I loved her.
Lunges, lunges, squats, squats. The dreaded mountain climbers. Squat holds. Bicep curls. Something called “reptile pushups”.
It was crazy-balls, but I did it. My stomach muscles are sore and my arms are jello right now, but I am pumped.
Day 2 is over, and I did it.
I DID IT.
I have the biggest smile on my face right now. I am so proud of ME.
Tonight I am working off of my self-made #WWGE diet:
- Crockpot pork – cooked with 1 can of cream of mushroom soup and a bit of water (1/2 a chop)
- broccoli (1/2 the serving I would normally eat)
- brown rice – cooked with the pork and soup (1/2 a cup)
- 12 oz of water
Since I worked out tonight, I might end up eating a bit more broccoli to fill me up, but we shall see. I will photograph my plate(s) before eating.
I am so excited, soon my camera will be automatically transferring my pictures to my computer– I got a deal on an Eye-Fi card through a Google thingy-madingy. I should get the card soon and will have a full report as soon as I use it the first time.
Off to eat dinner!
AJ
WOW.
Day 4 was a toughie.
But I made it through.
The last class was on Thursday, which gave me time to relax and work out some of the soreness and calf tightness I was feeling… while I thought that would be a good thing, I was pretty out of breathe and moving slowly this morning. I walked a bit this weekend, but not much. This morning reminded me that I am going to have to get up and move on my days off too.
Today was circuit training. 45 seconds each, 3 times at 8 different stations. Most were hopping, squats, pushups or bar work. We did toss a medicine ball in the air at another—I almost smacked myself in the face with that one on the 3rd trip around. I swear it was because the leader told us specifically not too. LOL My arms were jelly by the first round of the circuit, but I pushed through as well as I could. The leader was forever telling me (and only me) to “get your feet up” “arms STRAIGHT not BENT” “HOP! HOP! HOP!” but I am glad she did—it kept me from cheating. I was gasping for breath by the beginning of the 3rd set but gosh darn it, I pushed through. I may have done the moves slowly and only got 2 or 3 reps done in 45 seconds, but I did those reps correctly. Yeah me!
I got new shoes yesterday and my feet felt fantastic.
The warm up was tough today, but not as tough as it was the first morning. I feel “good” sore right now. Two good things I am proud of.
I am tired, woke up at 2:30 am again and couldn’t get back to sleep. I think I am going to take a nap then shower and head to my dentist appt.
It snowed this morning, but the streets were pretty clear at 5:30am  I hope they stay that way so I can get to the burbs for my appt on time.
Hope you have a healthy and fitness-filled day!
Did I throw up at bootcamp this morning??
duh, duh DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN….
Nope.
I took y’alls advise and ate something very small, just a small Dannon drinkable yogurt, and I was fine. I never felt queasy. One of the girls from the class actually asked me how I was doing after – very sweet.
The class stated off with BMI and weight- ugh.
Remember I was “trying it on my own” last month and not weighing in?
Well, I did ok, but obviously Thanksgiving helped me gain a few pounds.
Anyway, it is not the scale it is how I feel.(…the mantra in my head the whole time I was at bootcamp)
Today was rough– about 100 squats (broken up), 5 minutes (broken up) of squat holds, and arm work with bands. One of the things I like about this class is that we only use 2 pieces of equipment- bands and these things that are square that have some bounce to them so when you are running on them, they are slightly like a rebounder. But not as bouncy. I have no idea what they are called, but they are fun to run on. Anyway, I like that they don’t make you use alot of fancy equipment.
After 50 minutes of kicking my butt., I sat down and stretched a bit, then (OK warning, a little TMI) I hacked up a HUUUUUGE, thick sticky green phlegm ball.
That can’t be good.
I feel fine, though my breathing has been crap. As soon as I am done with this post, I will call the doctor.
I am sore (especially my calves from all the running in place) but not as sore as I thought I would be.
We shall see how I feel tomorrow morning (an off day). Next bootcamp is Thursday and I will be one week down.
My friend N and I are thinking of getting Bodybuggs (as seen on the Biggest Loser) to help us track calories in and calories out. Anyone use one? Pros? Cons?
Off to call the doctor and put my food in the crock pot.
Have a healthy day!
I am so freaking hungry.
I had nothing ready/available for lunch or dinner today. Dumb, I know, but I guess I really wasn’t as prepared as I thought for bootcamp day one. Lunch was tuna , 13 whole wheat crackers and a single serving of low-fat cottage cheese. Oh, and water. And some black berries.
For dinner, I had some left over crock pot chicken, but no brown rice or veggies to go with it. Ran to the grocery store tonight at 7:30 (30 minutes before I wanted to be “done” eating for the night) and was over-hungry*.
Nothing looked remotely good.
I grabbed 3 packages of frozen brown rice, steam in a bag fresh broccoli and cauliflower, 3 cans of 98% fat free cream of mushroom soup (for a crockpot recipe) and a few other things (including cat food for my poor little big hungry one). I threw the rice in the micro, then the leftover chicken, then the bag of veggies. I had a meal in under 10 minutes, and of course, I wolfed it down. I had 3 veggies left and 1/2 my plate of chicken and rice, and I am feeling full but not stuffed (a 4 on the WW Momentum 1-5 scale).
Also, I had about 5 sips of Diet Coke, and while I am not happy about it, I had a raging I-haven’t-had-a-diet-soda-in-2-days-and-haven’t-eaten-since-1pm headache. I am happy to say it is gone. To break the soda dependency, I am going to have to go slow. Maybe one a day for a few days, then 1/2 for a few days, then 1/2 every other day until I lose the headaches. This going cold turkey is for the birds.
This is the part of working out I haven’t figured out- I have never been able to eat well AND excercise a the same time.
It is either one or the other. Walk four 5k’s and one 10k during the year, eat alot of crap. Eat well, absolutely no exercise.
I am sure it is a dance I will learn to do over time, but I always seem to fail at one as I succeed at the other.
OK, I am going to clean up my dishes and get to bed so I can be up at 5 tomorrow morning.
*Old over-hungry me would have ran to McDonald’s instead of the store, so that is a small NSV.
I threw up.
After the WARM UP.
But you know what? I wiped off my mouth, grabbed a swig of water, and got back to it. I went right back into the workout like nothing happened.
I was MORTIFIED, but atleast I made it to the bathroom.
Let me start over.
I woke at 5:10 for my 6 AM class, already dressed in workout clothes, sports bra,socks and pants, only needing to put on my shoes. I ate a small apple and a cheese stick, and grabbed my water bottle.
I was ready by 5:25.
My friend N picked me up and while I was awake and ready for the class, she was CRABBY and I found out she is NOT a morning person.
We arrived to the class without incident, and after riding the elevator to the 39th floor, we walked the final 2 floors up (no elevator access to the gym).
We threw our things in the cubbies, and headed out to the floor to stretch.
I really haven’t stretched in ages, so it felt good to feel the pull at my hammies.
Anyway, the instructor apologized for not doing out body assessments today, her printer was on the fritz.
So we went right into a full 50 minutes workout.
You already know what happened 5 minutes in.
I used my inhaler 2 times during class, this exercise-induced asthma crap is really kicking my butt. I hate that I have a hard time getting a full breath. I hope it will get better as I lose some weight (though from past experiences, I know it probably won’t. I will be optimistic though). I will call the doctor this week and get an appointment to check out my lung functions.
Anyway, after 50 minutes of getting my but kicked, I apologized to the instructor for leaving class to throw up, and asked if she had any hints for next time regarding NOT throwing up. She asked what I ate before class, and said I would really have to test what my body would be able to handle before a workout- maybe nothing, maybe just a hard boiled egg white. I think the apple was WAAAAY to hard on my poor tummy. When I got home, I had a kiwi fruit, and a strawberry banana protein smoothie. MMMMMMM. I think i will have leftover chicken and rice for lunch. Not sure what I will make for dinner*.
Tomorrow is Bootcamp day 2( I will be going 3 days a week). I think I am going to ask miz fit what she eats before an early morning workout and go from there.What do you eat before working out?? After??
Even though it was not my finest morning, I am so excited to be doing this bootcamp again. It gets me up, dressed and out the door early so I can start my day.
*I was one of the crazy ladies out at 4 AM on Black Friday and was able to score a 5.5 qt Crock pot for cheap at Target. I have used it 3 times and I am in love. If you have any goodhealthy crock pot recipes, please share!!
*Note: Boring post ahead. You have been warned
I had a boring day today- treadmill, nap and watched TV. Really. It was that boring. I could say that I didn’t go out because it was raining and I was tired and I blah blah blah, but actually, I was just LAZY.
Yes, I walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes.
Yes, I got all the stamps put onto my holiday cards (2 days BEFORE THANKSGIVING- first time EVER so early- I WIN!)
Yes, I got a much needed nap.
Yes, I took an online course from the outplacement company to learn more about “good” resumes.
Yes, I went to dinner with a friend and caught up and had a great time (grilled chicken and veggies to eat)
Yes, I looked on line for easy good crockpot recipes and found a few low-fat good ones…wait.
Wow.
Looking at my “boring” “did not a thing” day and writing all these things down, I actually DID do something today.
huh.
I didn’t get to the grocery store like I wanted to, but that can wait to tomorrow. I need to get a Costco sized package of Chicken and tons of veggies for Monday, as my bootcamp starts that day and I want to be ready. I also need to get a small (2 to 3 qt) crock pot so I can cook my protein all day.
OK, it is 11pm- I gotta get to bed!
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