I really really need to get out of this funk I am in.
I know why I am in it:
- Lost my job? Check.
- Moving across country in 25 days? Check.
- Not prepared for move across the country in 25 days? Check.
- Freaking out about money? Check.
- Stressed out to the max? Check.
- Severely out of shape? Check.
- Is my a$$-shelf back? Check.
- Eating everything I can get my hands on? Check.
- Feeling like my life is spiraling out of control? Check.
- Overwhelmed with EVERYTHING happening at the same time? Check.
Anyone going through this much change all at the same time would have the same feelings of depression I am having. I know that.
But I feel myself falling back into the old habits I had when I weighed my heaviest of all time. I come home at night, throw my purse on the counter, grab something fatty or sugary to eat and head for the couch.
There I stay until I fall asleep (usually at 7:30) then wake at 10, only to drink diet soda or something dessert-like and stay up for another 3 hours. I am T-I-R-E-D when I get up in the morning because I didn’t get a full night sleep; aaaaaand repeat.
I have to start treating myself better. My friend N and I have made a pact that when I return to Chicago, we are going to “move” atleast 2 hours a day (to start), wear pedometers, and change the way we eat immediately. Then November 1, we start (have already paid for) a 3 week bootcamp to get us back on track – the same one I started before I moved here. I am VERY EXCITED to start it again and get my butt kicked by a drill sergeant. I am also happy I will have someone to keep me accountable. I know I can get back to a place of control. I have been there before and I can do it again.
But I need to have a few goals NOW to help keep me from completely going off the deep end before I leave.
So, here is goal number 1:
I will eat oatmeal for breakfast each day this week, and I’ll finish 1 bottle of water (or more) before I leave work each day.
I know it is a small step, but I have to make small steps before I can make big ones.
My word of the week is:
ACCOUNTABILITY.
I am accountable for every move I make and every piece of food I put in my mouth.
My oatmeal is out and my bottle of water is filled and ready to eat. I will twitpic my breakfast and empty water bottle tomorrow so look for it on Twitter! (@ajlovestolose)!
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You can do it!
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time but just remember that a) it happens, and b) you are the only person who can control your response to it. **hugs**