Lose the… well, everything. An Update

Previously I noted that I was going off the grid for a while as my life was twisting and turning more than a rollercoaster. Well, I feel better, there has been some resolution, and I am ready to be among the living again, as they say.

Sorry for the multiple subjects in 1 post, but I figure this is easier than having 2,056 different posts to read.

Lose my Job

I was told 2 weeks ago that my new job, the one I was begrudgingly moved across the country 5 months ago for, the one I spent my savings on, the one I was so happy to get, the promotion I have been waiting for, was ending.

The cost was too significant to keep the project going.

I won’t get into the teeter-totter of emotions I went through that horrific Wednesday night, but I will tell you that my dinner was a stellar 1/2 lb of bacon, a small bag of chili cheese fritos, 1/2 a jar of pepperochini peppers, a single serve cherry pie–

and a diet coke.

Cuz you gotsta keep the calories and sugar down, right?

I found myself living in a city I don’t like, at an organization I don’t recognize after 7 years of organizational changes, losing a job and feeling depressed, fat, and hopeless.

My only hope was that the organization would be fair and equitable and move me back to Chicago.

Well, they wouldn’t– not right off the bat.

Let’s just say that last week was not a fun one and leave it at that.

But after long talks and LOTS of negotiation, they offered me something I think is very fair.

I will continue work in Atlanta until the end of October finishing my project, then move back to Chicago November 1st-ish.

Lose Atlanta 

While I am SUPER EXTATIC HAPPY BLISSED OUT that I am moving back to my home, I am sad to be leaving the friends I have made in Atlanta the past 5 months. It will be hard moving back to Chicago without a job, but I know I can do it.

Lose my Health

Guess what came back!?!? AGAIN!!!

Yep, Shingles. This time, it was in my face and in a nerve that went down my cheek and through my teeth. I was in horrific pain. I was put on a opiate after not sleeping for 2 straight nights, then finally got into see a new doctor after waiting over a week to get in. It was torture. Thank Jebus my old doctor in Chicago was willing to call in a strong pain med for me or I might not be here today. 

Let this be a lesson to me and everyone else, FIND A PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR WHEN YOU FIRST MOVE TO A NEW CITY! Don’t wait until you get sick!! Just, don’t!

She looked me over, and had me see a Neurologist to rule out MS and other horrible things since I have never had a full blown blister outbreak on my body (though I do have them in my gums). The ruled out MS and other things so I am about 90 percent sure it really is shingles.

I will go for more testing to make sure it is really stress that is causing me to get sick all the time, but they are 99 percent sure that is what it is. I believe them, since I have been nothing but a ball of stress for like 10 months.

I am feeling much much better after pain meds and shingles medication.

Lose the flab

Hello, my name is AJ, and I am an emotional eater.

When I was forced to leave my family to move across the country for my job, I was devastated. I cried alot, got really depressed and ate EVERYTHING in sight.

French fries, pizza, fast food everything, pasta, bread, chips. Also- read what I ate 2 Wednesdays above.

My portion sizes got bigger.

I returned to drinking tons of diet coke again.

Exercise? What’s that?

Over the last 5 months, I have gained 17lbs.

Yep, you heard it here first. 17 big ones.

I am bloated, my clothes aren’t fitting well, and I feel like the crap I have been eating.

I am frustrated that I let myself get bogged down in the emotional side of eating.

Food is not my friend. It is not someone who can hug me when I am feeling down or cheer me on when I have accomplished a goal.

Food is what helps me stay alive, or atleast it should; food is nourishment, that is all.

The crap I have been eating is not nourishment– it is empty calories.

After I made my decision to leave my job and return to Chicago, I felt the “funk” that was over me start to lift away.

I was smiling more. I wanted to get out of bed each morning. I wanted to make my dinner instead of running to Chick-fil-a.

I recommitted to 30 minutes of exercise today on Fat Bridesmaid’s blog. 

When I got home from work, I put on my (almost too tight) sports bra, my shoes, and while I was waiting for my dinner to cook, I walked for 30 min in front of the TV.

Did I walk far? No.

Did I push myself? No

Did I get 30 minutes of aerobic walking in today? YES, Thank you!

Tomorrow I will do more, but I am proud I did as much as I did tonight. I could have just sat on my butt the whole night!

 

I am off to finish updating my resume and start sending it out.

Please send me positive job vibes – I really need them!

Related posts:

1. Lose the Loser-ness (an Update)
2. Lose the Sugar?
3. Where the heck has AJ been: An update
4. Lose My Life on the D List
5. Doctor Appt Update